Posts Tagged ‘osteoarthritis’

Bone on Bone, Heartache on Heartache

Monday, May 23rd, ©2011 Marcus Brooks
X-Ray of Exercised Hip Joint

X-Ray of an Exercised Hip Joint

While looking for my old sonnets, I came across something else I wrote nearly twenty years ago. At the time I had begun seeing orthopedic surgeons about chronic knee trouble. The doctors more-or-less fixed that problem with a lateral release operation in 1996, although it took a long time to recover.

This was all long before my current trouble, which is osteoarthritic hips. So far, nobody has offered me any hope of fixing that. (I gather I am not a good candidate for hip replacement.)

The document is a fictional allegory and any resemblance to actual physicians is a sad coincidence. The file is named “discontent” and was last modified on Dec 15, 1992:

And in that time there lived in the hills to the West the Doctors of Bone and Muscle.

And the Doctors of Bone and Muscle looked upon their homes, and knew discontent, for the style was three years out of date, and the amenities were not voice-activated, and the excellent view was obscured by the houses of the Doctors of Internal Medicine.

And the Doctors of Bone and Muscle looked upon their cars, and they did sigh audibly, for the glue from the new-car price stickers had worn off, and the CD players could only hold one disc, and the cars could not greatly exceed twice the speed limit, as could the cars of the Doctors of Cosmetic Surgery.

And the Doctors of Bone and Muscle did look upon the Doctors of Internal Medicine, and saw that they were filthy rich, and they did look upon the Doctors of Cosmetic Surgery, and saw that they were rolling in piles of lucre.

And they did speak unto their brothers, saying: “Hey guys!  Could you cut us a slice?”

And the Doctors of Internal Medicine and the Doctors of Cosmetic Surgery did look up from the tee, and said peevishly: “Brothers, what wouldst thou have us do?”

And fiendish smiles did grow all about on the faces of the Doctors of Bone and Muscle, and they did rub their hands together and look around to see if any potential patients were listening, and they did lower their voices and say: “Tell them to exercise!”

Disclaimer: Do not take this little fantasy as a recommendation against exercise. But if you do exercise, do it carefully, and don’t expect exercise alone to fix everything!