Archive for the ‘Wheelchair’ Category

If the Weld Smells Like Pork, You’re On Fire!

Monday, February 7th, ©2011 Marcus Brooks

I thought up that little epigram while wondering if I could fit its back story into a 400 word magazine blurb I was writing about my wheelchair. You see, the statement is not just gross, it’s true!

One of my Cafe Press products. (Click image to see shop.)

One of "my" Cafe Press products. (Click image to see the shop.)

I was concentrating on a very large and important weld once when I noticed the distinct smell of pork BBQ. When I finished the bead, I looked down and saw my shirt was on fire! I’d ignored the pain supposing it was just a bit of slag that punched through my heavy flannel shirt and cotton undershirt, but the flames ended up leaving a two-inch diameter skin burn on my belly. (And much larger holes in my clothing.) I don’t think much skin cooked past 2nd degree, but it was enough to smell. The scar is still there, if you know where to look.

Back to the epigram, I was so pleased with it, I told someone if I had the cash it would be a T-shirt. Then I thought to look at Cafe Press. Sure enough, they’ll let me put my words on T-shirts and other things so other people can buy them, and I don’t have to spend a red cent! Just as well; I’m still a bit too big for their largest shirt size (4XL).

Unfortunately, the easy-to-use shop builder I clicked is a beta test. It’ll set up a shop with your words on T-shirts and stuff, but the machine is a little footloose when it comes to placing text. A detail-oriented guy like me might go nuts cleaning up after all that ease-of-use. Also, when I tried adding a second design (pictured) to keep the first one company, I kept getting spurious duplicates; but delete a spurious copy, and they both go!

I’ve filed bug reports, of course. We’ll see how things go. I’ve already worked on that darned shop so much I’m sick and tired of my own quips. Lets see, what’s next? Maybe this one…

It’s not as bad as it looks, but it looks much worse than you think.

Sure, maybe!