Picking Sides

Saturday, July 28th, ©2012 Marcus Brooks
Image of a person holding his tongue in the so-called cloverleaf shape.

There are things I just cannot do, like "cloverleaf tongue."(Wikipedia Image)

A Facebook friend re-shared a newsbusters.org post that accuses ABC of hypocrisy for supposedly lauding free speech in an old 2006 Dixie Chicks story, while now they “hit” Chick-Fil-A for “supporting traditional marriage.” I didn’t see either ABC story, so I will skip over that part.

My comment, one of over 12 thousand others on the post (so far), was this:

I gotta say, [the Dixie Chicks’ album] “Home” is just about my all-time favorite non-classical album. Also, was the 2nd-grade teacher who made me write right-handed “supporting” anything? I started out “bi”—was I a threat to right-handers? (Baseball pitchers, maybe?)

I’m serious about that. In second grade, I didn’t care which hand I used to write. In fact, the teacher’s excuse for making me conform was that I kept switching and made her seasick. (My hand got sore, OK?) To be fair, she didn’t say which hand to use, but she made me stop switching, and I didn’t know any better than to let her.

I feel like I lost something in the deal. I still use my left hand a lot, but I can’t write with it; at least, no better than I could when I started second grade. (Interestingly, my left hand still remembers cursive. My right hand insists on print.)

This is how my brain is wired. I can use both hands when other folks can’t. Nobody seduced me into using both hands. I was not influenced by the media, or corrupted by communists, or poisoned into ambidexterity by fluoridation. And no sane person in this day and age seriously believes I was possessed by the devil. (If you do, you can stop reading now. Really. Go. If you’re that far gone, I give up.)

Can you make your tongue “clover leaf”? Some folks can. I can’t. Maybe a few people who could haven’t figured out how, but people like me just can’t do it. It doesn’t matter how hard they try, or how much they care, or what the law says. If they’re not wired for it, they can’t do it.

This is not a hard concept, is it? That some things are just built in, or not? I suppose some people will tell you prayer can change anything: “Hello, God? I don’t like how you wired my tongue, can you change it?” I suppose there’s no harm in asking, but if you really, truly believe I can’t make a clover leaf tongue because I never prayed for the ability, you can stop reading, too.

Now. I happen to be attracted to women. No matter how I approach the notion, I cannot feel the same about men. The idea of sex with men repels me. I’m surprised women put up with us. Even the idea of other men having sex together creeps me out. I shudder at the thought of living with a man as I do with my wife.

That is how I’m wired. I wouldn’t want to change it if I could, and as I can’t, I certainly won’t pretend to change it. I would be offended if anybody suggested I do so, and outraged if anybody required me to.

And I think men who are wired to love men have the right to feel likewise. So do women wired to love women. It’s only fair.

If you think “traditional” marriages can’t survive in the face of others marrying whoever they love, then your traditional marriage was a lie to start with, and no amount of “support” is going to save it.

As for what the Dixie Chicks think of Bush the Younger, his election didn’t only shame Texas. My saying so doesn’t influence who he’s allowed to love, or what rights he might lose for loving them. His performance in office is a public matter, subject to comment. Who he decides to love or marry isn’t.

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4 Responses to “Picking Sides”

  1. Keith says:

    Yeah. I’ve often wondered that about straight men. Usually, straight men say they find men repulsive, which would mean they find themselves repulsive. If they can’t see what’s attractive about themselves, do they just have to go on blind faith that some woman out there is going to be attracted to them?

    About the cloverleaf tongue, though. I find that kinda nasty.

    I’d love to be ambidextrous, though I’m glad I didn’t have to put up with having my hands hit. I can’t even snap my fingers with my left hand.

  2. marcus says:

    Oh, I can tell an attractive man when I see one. I see David Beckham and think, man, that’s the kind of guy I’d like to be, with a girl!

    Nobody hit my hands. I guess I just obeyed. I can’t snap fingers very well with my left hand either, but one of the necessary fingertips has been lopped off and sewn back together. I blame it on that.

  3. David says:

    Marcus, I have to say you are left handed, but like my brother who is left handed you were forced to user you right. My bother while he still writes mostly with his right can draw equally well with both hands. His daughter is left handed and they didn’t force her to change. As to being gay or bi or whatever. I don’t see how it has anything to do with me. If gay people can destroy my marriage then I guess I have to give them credit for a good marriage also? It’s absurd on it’s face. It all comes down to “Different = BAD”, “Change = BAD”. We live in a world with 30 year mortgages and people want to know that the same world that existed when they went to bed will be there when they get up. But I have a different view. I see different as good and we change and adapt or we die. Recent events show change is inevitable, and that’s a good thing.

  4. marcus says:

    Well, there’s a theory that genes select for right or mixed handedness, not specifically for left, because otherwise the statistics don’t really make sense. For mixies, then, handedness would be a matter of habit, and they might settle on either hand, but righties really have an ingrained bias. Remember, I didn’t _mind_ using my right hand. I just didn’t like to write very long with either hand.

    Either way, you have to use the hand you’re dealt (groan). Even if it were just choice, it’s your choice. If you’re not hurting anyone, nobody has a right to choose for you. If it offends someone’s sense of what’s right, that’s just them hurting themselves.

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